[dongbearer]

sonic dont

[crunchwrapofnotredame]

I have no clue why this is so god damn funny but i cannot stop fucking watching it

First you’re gonna cut my shift, THEN beg me to come in to cover someone, THEN beg me to stay late to help close, THEN tell me that if I go into overtime this week I’m in trouble???

I love the feeling of suddenly remembering the good dream I had last night in the middle of the day after I had completely forgotten about it. I’ll see something, and it feels like it triggers a memory. But then I realize that it was only a dream that was so pleasant that my subconscious did me the favor of accepting it as reality and filing it away.

how come all the good instagram cats are owned by lesbians?

I’m being recommended for a more-work, no-raise “”””promotion””””” 🙃

Scorpio season is about switching from horny to depressed and back again every 60 seconds

If I had won the $1.6 billion lottery I woulda payed Ewan McGregor to read audio bookss

I love taking my huge fat ass to the gym and making sure everyone there knows I’m NOT there for cardio or weight loss. I’m there to build mad muscle so I can carry all my friends in my huge loving arms 💪🏋️‍♀️🐷🌈💖💝💗💘💓💞💕

This Bitch Sleepy,

Yeet